Says one to the other, “I have got news for you.”
“Good news or bad news?” queries the other in response.
“Both,” comes the instant reply.
“Well,” says the other, “let’s hear the bad news first and then the good news.”
“Well, alright the bad news first. The bad news: corruption and impunity appear to be exercising a choke-hold on the nation — runaway corruption, that is. The investigation into the missing money continues, but, that is about all the public knows and guess what? There is still no evidence or paper trail on how the US$25 million was infused into the economy.”
“Wait a minute here,” says the other; “what do you mean by there is no evidence or paper trail? Do you mean to tell me that our man the Finance Minister did not place that money into the banking system? I can’t believe it, mehn!”
“Oh yes,” the first one continued, “the Finance Minister gave the commercial banks wah-way; he gave them okra. Rock he did not give them.”
“Aye bah!” the other exclaims, “this kind of thing can spoil our man Weah name o, because they will say he inside it because he has not done anything about it.”
“Okay,” says the first, “but this country here, anything you do to anybody, it can go for free. Ehn you see the Housing Authority man Siryon, his name all in the press oh; they say someone recorded him on tape asking the Burkinabé man for his gbeh-to-gbeh-to.”
“What you mean by gbeh-to-gbeh-to?”
“Oh, I mean the man lay thing. Aye my people, this corruption business killing this country oh! It waste bad way –corruption waste in Liberia yaaaah!”
“But ehn our King George say he will not take side with corruption people? He talked it the time he was getting in the chair. But from the time he talk it, we can’t see nothing sef.”
“Oh, you pah, you can’t give our man chance sef, to see if he will waste water under them?
“Okay oh, I will give him chance but the thing that’s hurting me, it na reach one year yet, so-so chopping business we can be hearing in the news. Our money oh; dey people chopping the Liberian people money voogah-voogah and nothing can’t come from inside. Bah, me pah, I na give up on this country yah; people chopping bastard money — nothing coming from it. Dey na kill kill, oh. Dey kill people oh, and nothing come from inside.
“But wait bah, you nah hear the good news yet?”
“Oh, no oh! I na go nowhere today. Radio sef, I nah put it on.
“Oh bah, you behind time oh. You jes cockin’ in crib whole day? You nah hear AFL Chief of Staff talking today dat, any monkey try to cause problem here to say he will jump in the bush because they call him to war crimes court, the AFL will deal with them?”
“Oh for true?”
“Yes oh! Ehnn, because I na finish packing my bag, so if any bush shake, I gone. I will nah wait for it to reach to me sef!”
“So you mean the AFL say it will protect the Liberian people? I hope so oh!”
“Oh yes oh, tactical dat different tactical na oh.”
“Yes bah, the Liberian people tired with war. Dey will never jump in the bush again but, if this government nah want do anything for us dey gbana man dem, the Zogos dem; the bastard chopping, the gbeh-to-gbeh-to business, the wah-way, the crocrogee business, the kukujumuku business and the jolly jolly, chay dey ni pehn kanon business must stop. Get serious, damn serious, we taya mehn!”
“If you nah able to tote the Liberian people pepper kinjah, jes put it down easy yah, Papa!”
[Of course, momentary silence, then sudden and explosive, laughter, raucous, coarse and unrestrained!]