.... Dear woman, a man needs you as you need him, so there should be no fear of losing a man or being unmarried because the decision to be alone can be made by both parties. God created you to serve Him and fulfill your purpose on earth, so resist patriarchy; it is not of God. He is not biased.
Patriarchy is a system that makes God appear biased toward women, but He is not. What is Patriarchy? I define patriarchy as a dominant manipulative system that enables the man to have privileges and opportunities above the woman. Hence, whenever we talk about women’s empowerment and gender equality, a man sees it as a threat to his manipulation and sense of entitlement.
He brings in religion, but because I am a woman and a Christian, I will get the Bible, primarily referenced in these conversations. My opinion is not about man vs. woman; it is about what God said vs. what man said based on manipulation to satisfy “SELF,” which is not the will of God. God is not biased, but man has made us believe that our existence is to serve and please him instead of the Creator – to justify this mindset, he sets up a system called patriarchy.
The hour of enlightenment has come, and we will not stay silent. When the Bible said my people are destroyed because of the lack of knowledge, I found nothing but the truth because knowledge is not only light but power.
God created man and woman equally in His image and likeness, and none is above the other. The purpose on earth is to serve God and fulfill assigned destiny, so non-is above the other. God loves and speaks to everyone. Genesis 1:27-28 (So God created man in his image, in the image of God, created he him; male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth). According to this scripture, after God created males and females, he blessed them, not him.
Adam manipulated Eve to guilt for their exit from the Garden of Eden, but he failed to realize that the instruction not to eat the forbidden fruit was given to him and not her, but of course, shifting blame is part of a man’s character. See Genesis 2:15-18 (And the LORD God took the man, putting him into the Eden garden to dress it and keep it.
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.) After the instruction, God created Eve; verse 18 - And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him).
God made the marriage issue very clear that it is a good thing and not a mandatory thing. The man thinks it is compulsory because he wants to obtain favor from God by finding a wife. Proverbs 18:22 (Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtained favor of the LORD).
Now, to find a wife means a man needs to convince a woman to marry him, which includes persuading and complimenting, among others. So, giving a woman money or gifting her pieces of jewelry to persuade her to become your wife is your choice - stop making it as though she is coercing you to do it. (Talking about “women love money, if not money and gifts, what then should we love?
There are a lot of dos and don’ts in the Bible. Still, when a man wants to justify his ego and defend his manipulations to subject women, he runs to Ephesians 5:22 (Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.) but not verse 25, which says (Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it). No man who loves his wife will deny her empowerment and opportunities or abuse her emotionally, physically, and verbally.
There is no need to demand or cry out for submission from a woman; it comes naturally in a loving environment. Just love your wife and get the submission you deserve; it is that simple. What I find funny yet interesting is how single men also run to Ephesians 5:22; my question then is, what exactly are you, the single man doing with such a Bible verse when you have not convinced a woman to become your wife? As a single man, your focus should be persuading a woman with money and gifts to convince her to marry you.
The man then turned his manipulation to tradition and even took it into the church. Only a premeditated mind will demand or mandate another human (the woman) to accept from a better state to the worst condition, from a prosperous state to a poor state. I am yet to see “For better, for worse, for richer, for more destitute, till death do us part in the Bible- I believe these words were enshrined to ensure that the woman gets blamed for opposing or not abiding by them because why would you want someone to suffer? Is this not a form of witchcraft?
The blame-shifting started in the Garden of Eden, traveled to Jesus’ time, and still exists today, but what vexes me is that the man justifies and defends it because it pleases him to see the woman subject herself to him instead of fulfilling her purpose.
There is a famous story in the Bible about adultery, John 8:3-11. Adultery is a sexual relationship in which at least one person is married to someone else. See John 8:3-4 (And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, they say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act). They argued that she should be killed because she was caught in the act. Sex involves two persons, but how could they see her in the act and not the man she was with?
Why did they think she should bear the punishment for the man? The answer is blame-shifting, failure to take responsibility, and being held accountable for voluntary decisions. See also verses 8-11 (So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you let him first cast a stone at her. And again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
And they which heard it, being convicted by their own science, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more).
The fact that they did not stone her means that the man is always in his sound mind when he does these things, so I do not see the need to defend and justify him; I only see the need and urgency to empower women to fulfill their purpose by getting education and independence.
The Bible made it clear that the manipulations and sense of entitlement the man wants to have over the woman for which he has made it a tradition (Patriarchy) is not from God. See Mark 7:9 (He said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition). Resist patriarchy. It is not of God.
In addition to this fact, the Bible also has another story of women who advocated for their rights and demanded their inheritance, see Numbers 27:1-8 (Then came the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph: and these are the names of his daughters; Mahlah, Noah, and Hoglah, and Milcah, and Tirzah.
And they stood before Moses, and before Eleazar, the priest, and before the princes and all the congregation, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying, our father died in the wilderness, and he was not in the company of them that gathered themselves together against the Lord in the company of Korah; but died in his own sin, and had no sons. Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family because he hath no son? Give unto us, therefore, a possession among the brethren of our father.
And Moses brought their cause before the Lord, And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying, the daughters of Zelophehad speak right: thou shalt surely give them a possession of an inheritance among their father's brethren; and thou shalt cause the inheritance of their father to pass unto them. We need more women preachers because most of the male preachers do not preach on these scriptures because by doing that, they will lose their enlightened women and their stronghold of control.
Jesus did not have a woman as a member of his disciples. Still, the first person He appeared to when He resurrected was the woman, see Mark 16:9 (Now, when Jesus rose early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils). The sense of entitlement was so high that when she told them she had seen the risen Lord, they didn’t believe it because obviously, they thought Jesus should appear to a man and not a woman, without knowing that God is no respecter of person, He works with anyone at will. See verses 10-11 (And she told them that she had been with him, as they mourned and wept.
And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not). From this scripture, I also want to sincerely believe that they refuse to believe her words, not because it would shock anyone to live after they had died but because of whom they knew her to be, her past, so they thought she was so unclean and unqualified for such an encounter.
Aside from the manipulations, there is also the sense of entitlement the man feels over the woman, that she should not tell him what to do; she doesn’t need the same opportunities he should have. This is where the issue of rights becomes an essence. Because a woman is a human, and as such, she also is entitled to everything a human is entitled to, and I think so much more; as God designed the body of the woman to bring forth children, she is the one that is entitled to the best of everything.
How does a woman asking, demanding her rights, or expressing herself become rude, arrogant, and disrespectful? Is it that it makes the man uncomfortable? Does it make him lose his sense of entitlement throne of manipulation? Does the ego break so hard, unbelievably? What, then, is the issue? Where is the argument? Let’s hear you, please. The floor, microphone, and audience are now yours, Sir.
Dear woman, a man needs you as you need him, so there should be no fear of losing a man or being unmarried because the decision to be alone can be made by both parties. God created you to serve Him and fulfill your purpose on earth, so resist patriarchy; it is not of God. He is not biased.
About the author: Vickjune Excel Wutoh is a Gender Equality Activist and Candidate for Master – Development Policy (Korea Development Institute)