The Dangers of War (Part 6)

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Mamie’s death had a deeper meaning more than what we were discussing. Sam had indicated, protesting his innocence, saying that Mamie betrayed his trust and as a result chose her own destiny. However, many of the people who heard the story felt otherwise. Like before, Celia did not mince her words and while blaming my friend for what went wrong with Mamie, she raised pertinent issues that deserve attention by all Liberians in the affairs of the heart.

The following were the contents of her letter.

My son once gifted me with Harry Potter books for my birthday because I love reading. He ordered them. I was mad at him because, on that day, I did not receive anything from him on my birthday. He is very quiet and easy going with his dad so he pays no attention to my talking. The next day, the Harry Potter books arrived and were delivered by the mailman. All he said was “MOM, I BOUGHT YOU A PRESENT IT JUST DID NOT ARRIVE ON TIME.” I was mollified! I thought they were kids’ books nonetheless, my son went through all that trouble to get me the books and the pleasurable lazy smile on his face when the mailman arrived was enough to have made me read the books. He gave me the 1st 3 series and I read them. Years later, when the “sorcerer stone” was made into a movie, it was exactly what I had imagined. Now you see why I like your stories! They make one think and imagine the characters. Your story and the character Mamie really came alive. She is dead and cannot defend herself. Therefore I am dissecting your piece only in Mamie’s defense. For, I am only left to imagine the mindset that Mamie had.

My mind had already predicted that yes indeed Lonestar was not married to Mamie, which was confirmed in the last segment. Each mind has the right to ponder and come to whatever conclusion reached. Therefore, all versions of defense for Lonestar against Mamie are welcome and cannot be challenged by another. No one’s conclusion is best because each can interpret the story in their own way. In Lonestar’s mind, since he painted this bad picture of Mamie, anyone who backs him will be the best analyst of his story. He has not owned up to his part played in Mamie’s death.

That is why I agreed with Pinky in her version of the defense she put up for Lonestar. I know this made Lonestar very happy as he drank his Guinness Stout. For me, I have no reason to glorify Lonestar. I hope he drinks more Guinness to his doom! I certainly have no pity for Lonestar. My only prayer for Lonestar is that I hope someone drives him home from your house after drinking all that Guinness Stout. Perhaps after drinking all those Stouts, if God forbid he had an accident while driving home, he might blame it on you! He would not have seen the part he played by gulping down 2 Guinness Stout. I bet he took more. Lonestar doesn’t look like one who sees his contribution in the wrong of society. I want Lonestar to live and be taunted by his experience with Mamie so that he will never have children by any woman he is not married to. The way he drank that stout, confirms my thinking!

Now, let me tell you why I have no pity for Lonestar. A farmer gets what he puts in the soil. No one will plant apples and get banana in return. A farmer reaps exactly what he sows. Monsters do not just happen. Monsters are made. Lonestar made his own monster! Mamie sat home and Lonestar was the breadwinner. All Mamie had to do was to look pretty and braid her hair and wear her gold chain.

He would continue to bring the money home for Mamie, mentally enslaving Mamie. Had he planned to marry Mamie, he would have known that marriage is not only about the beauty of the woman. He lusted after Mamie for her outward beauty and forgot that there has to be inner strength in a woman if that woman is going to sustain a marriage in its long run. Love has nothing to do with beauty or money, because love mistaken as in physical attraction is not enough to pull a marriage through, same as money rather, commitment to the covenant. I did not see any commitment on Lonestar’s part that is why he did not marry Mamie. Did you see the way he described Mamie’s body? He said, “Mamie’s body moves like that of a snake”. Certainly, the minute he saw Mamie, all that was in his mind was lust.

Or shall I say the mere sight of Mamie give Lonestar an erection! To me, she was nothing but an object of his lust. He would have left her once her beauty faded away. Mamie was smart to have gotten away from him except, she took another wrong path as we all sometimes do. Lonestar was Mamie’s breadwinner so he said! Is this not the kind of mentality that traps young girls into being concubines, dependent on men? Marriage is a partnership with the man being the head of the home and the woman the helpmate for the man. Did Lonestar ever teach Mamie how to fetch, how to earn her own money, how to make a market, how to make Kala? Except for winning bread, did he ever give Mamie a lump sum of money and tell Mamie to make her own business? Did he know of something call rainy-days? Did he build Mamie up so that Mamie would build him up during the rainy-days when he could not win bread? Or did he just invest in Mamie’s body? Those were some of the things that women who were not as beautiful as Mamie lived on during the war.

Those committed in a marriage but strayed, jolted back to reality as their conscience reminded them about their covenant and commitment in marriage. Did Mamie have a commitment from Lonestar? Lonestar himself said he would have married Mamie. WOULD HAVE! Would he have married Mamie after she gave birth to his 2nd or 3rd child? She had a lust that did not honor her. He too does not deserve to be honored. The luster was broke. Had Lonestar committed himself in a Holy Covenant with Mamie, her conscience would have brought her back to reality. As she was natured and matured to the mindset decoyed by Lonestar; that her body was the primary provider in quenching the lust of Lonestar for his money, she moved on once the money was gone.

Perhaps, Lonestar would have had a ground to make a case when the ECOMOG man came for Mamie. He had no case because his defense was not strong enough. His defense was weak as he was not married to Mamie but was a mere “BOYFRIEND” that is why he ran away when he saw the Oga’s car. He had no claim. Had he had a claim, he would have stood up to the Olga and said, “WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY WIFE?” The universe would have yielded to his claim! Could he have told the Olga, “Where are you taking my girlfriend”? Doesn’t that even warrant a slap in his face by the Olga? I can imagine Mamie saying to the Olga, “make we leave that broker and hurry along.” I can imagine Mamie’s throaty youthful laugh!

Many would argue that marriage is no guarantee, that statistics show that many marriages (70%) are broken, that Lonestar truly loved Mamie and he was truly her breadwinner, that what Mamie did was wrong, that spouses cheat on each other. While all that is true, nothing in life is a guarantee. Is life itself a guarantee? Though Statistics shows that marriages are broken shortly after, there are many marriages that are still intact irrespective of their faults. The statistics show that out of 100% of marriages, 70% leave and 30% are still strong in marriage. Many are called but few are chosen! Could the 30% be the chosen few to grace the true essence of marriage? Could Lonestar and Mamie have been among the 30% had they gotten married? It is not the love that makes the marriage last, it is the commitment to the covenant that keeps the marriage intact. That covenant includes love and much more! We all have been through the different stages of love! (Puppy love, head-over-heels-in-love, spiritual connection, the love that looks beyond the body and respect and honor of the person and mind). Forgetting about us as private citizens let us now go public here. Real love that I have seen, known and have experienced is that which is between William Jefferson Clinton and his wife Hillary Clinton. In that marriage, you see commitment in its highest level has been exemplified and portrayed. This is what I call love. When you do not yield to public ridicule of your partner even if the whole world knows that your spouse has wronged you and deserves to be tossed into public ridicule. Did anyone ever say in a marriage that a partner will not fall short? Many things happen in marriage. For many of us who are married know that if we have not had a commitment, a covenant and stood before the altar of God, witnessed by men and made some vows, we would have long since been gone out of our marriages!

True love and commitment pull all marriages through whenever tough times emerge. Is any human being infallible? Is this not the very reason why Jesus said: “he who is without sin should cast the 1st stone?” Is it condonable that one’s partner must go out to cheat? I know of a close friend who never cheated on her husband, and had six children by him. Just before the war, he came to America on a Government fellowship. On the trip was a woman he had been seeing. Now the war came and kept the husband away from the wife. In protecting her 6 children, she dated and had a child by another man who helped her to provide and fend for her children in the absence of her husband. Though her husband was the cheater and knew that his wife was honorable, except, in this case, he found a justifiable reason to stray with the other woman he brought on his trip. His anger blinded him for a while but, his conscience and commitment freed him. To date, he has reconciled with his wife. Thank Goodness she did not contract aids because her helper was an ECOMOG soldier. Today, the entire family resides in the United States.

For all including Liberians have sinned and come short of the glory of God, especially during the war when all hell broke loose and every human being was looking for survival. Who then was in their right state of mind during the war? So if Christ, knowing our faults forgives our sins as we join in our covenant with him, so shall we forgive those whom we joined in the covenant of matrimony? That can happen only if the partner who falls short is really repentant of the fall. Take King David for example, a man who was after God’s own heart, did he not plot the death of another man just to have the man’s wife? Why did God forgive him and still made him even more powerful? It was because he was repentant.

He violated a covenant that was between him and God, but he was really sorry so God took him back and made him even more powerful. This is why covenants are necessary though they may be broken yet can be the very reason reconciliation is necessary. This is why I respect and admire Hillary Clinton as the true daughter of Sarah, the woman depicted in the Holy Bible, precisely, 1st Peter chapter 3.

The devil has a way of reminding new Christians of anything they may have done in the past once they commit themselves to God. I, as an individual, as I began my own personal journey in my covenant with Christ was reminded by the devil that I was not good enough to even say the name of God! Every time I wanted to launch into the deep as I worshipped God and poured my heart out to him, the devil would come strolling by and point his fingers! The Holy Spirit came to me and showed me a passage in the Holy Bible, in the book of Corinthians about Paul saying, “IF PAUL WITH ALL HIS SINS CAN BE FORGIVEN, MY SINS ARE NOT EVEN COMPARED TO PAUL.” From that point, I decided to launch into the deep with Christ. This I believe has happened to many people who were visited by the Holy Spirit in repentance to anything they may have done! In both stories, I did not see Lonestar showing any love for Mamie even after the Olga left the country and Mamie was ill with no one to care for her after her mistake. He met her on the Johnson Street Bridge, disguised himself and gave Mamie some token of money as he had always done and left her right there. Mamie was no longer beautiful in his eyes. Did his attitude show love? Can anyone who knows real love reading this story see any love? The tears in his eyes were not of sorrow for Mamie but for the body wasted!

Did Lonestar have a deeper and genuine commitment to Mamie? Do you know how many men would have scooped their wives up had they seen her near the Johnson Street Bridge in that state? There are Liberian men who would have done just that! I know Liberian men who have done just that and will continue to do just that! They will continue to defend their wives’ honor just as their wives will defend their honor because of the real love they share, the one that comes with deep commitment. All the Lonestars out there should learn the true essence of love and commitment. There are many Liberian men whose wives had children by other men during the war and even before and after the war. There are many Liberian women whose husbands had children by other women during the war. Some supported the men and their girlfriends with their hard earned money while working in America and sending money to Liberia while the men and their girlfriends lived large. Some of those marriages were reconciled because of the deeper commitment. These partners have chosen not to ridicule their partners like Lonestar. As Dr. M. Kromah said in her well-enlightened post, Mamie could have contracted AIDS from many other sources other than sexual contact. Mamie did not know better. In normal times, Mamie probably would NOT have behaved like that. Yet, Mamie’s life is not in vain. Her life is a legacy to teach young women lessons in many ways. Stay away from men like Lonestar who are breadwinners! They are exploiting your body to quench their lust calling it love, making babies out of wedlock with you! All they are doing is mentally enslaving you. When they leave you, you will be looking for deeper pockets. If your body gets wrinkled with stretch marks and your body can no longer move like a snake, they will find the next snake looking body and move on leaving you looking like THE TAIL OF A MARKET DOG!

Lonestar, this is the covenant that brings people to reality when they stray!
1) For better and for worse.
2) In sickness and in health.
3) For Richer and for Poorer.
4) Till death do us part.

These recitals in vows are there for a reason. I hope Lonestar will learn better from his mistake and stop blaming poor Mamie. The Mamies of Liberia are victims of a serious plight. All the Lonestars of Liberia need to accept responsibility for their part played in this war against the Mamies of Liberia. Even the ones traveling from abroad are exploiting the Mamies of Liberia with their chump change! While Lonestar’s story is true, let us see it from the standpoint of Mamie too! I rest my case in defense of “DEAD MAMIE!”
-Celia

When he completed reading the above letter, my friend handed it to me and I went through it, and all the time my friend was moving about the room. I realized he needed another stout to re-examine the above letter, and therefore I sauntered to the refrigerator and provided him with the third bottle. The reader should not imagine that my friend had decided to celebrate his misfortune with booze, the truth was, I had known him for many years and considering the situation under discussion, he was feeling the death of Mamie. I returned Celia’s letter to Sam and decided to allow him some time to examine it for the second time. And so, we would allow him the time he needed and would return to his opinions in the next chapter.

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