“Women believe that it is a normal thing for their husbands to undertake their responsibilities. With this notion, many women take the fulfillment of these responsibilities for granted as it seen as the ‘normal’ thing to do. But wives must learn to show appreciations to their husbands in order to keep the flame of love and care burning.”
This was the statement made by Fundamental Baptist Women Fellowship (FBWF) Missionary and Marriage Counselor, Esther K. Gbor, at the Calvary Baptist Church on January 12 when Mrs. Ruth Vaye honored her husband G. Larque Vaye, Sr., the Pastor of the church.
Mrs. Gbor —who has counseled many couples since she started work in Liberia in 1998— stressed before the congregation that despite the fact that men are in the home to bear responsibilities, it is also incumbent upon the women to motivate their husbands when they do well instead of seeing it as an obligation to compel them do it.
She said such notion is responsible for poor relationship in many homes and has caused some men to abandon their wives.
“Let women learn to publicly honor their husbands when they (husbands) are doing well. Remember that these men God has blessed you with can be like any other men who are frustrating their wives. Do not have the notion that it is a normal thing but think that it is the love of God directing their attention to you,” she noted.
Mrs. Gbor in a chat with the Daily Observer noted that encouragement from a wife in a home keeps the husband therein, and he will always feel happy to do more when the wife shows that what he does is appreciative to her.
Giving her testimony at a thanksgiving service in the Calvary Baptist Church following a major surgical operation in Ghana, Mrs. Roseline Vaye told the congregation that if God had not given her a good and caring husband, she would had found it difficult while she was sick.
“When time was reaching for us to go to Ghana for this operation, my husband, Rev. Vaye was always on the computer and I complained why he should play with computer all day and night. At last I learnt that through communication on the computer we were able to get the money needed to transport us and for me to undergo the operation,” she said.
She noted that it takes God’s mercy and grace to get such a husband she has; something that caused her to remember her lovely song, “The Lord is my Shepherd” which she asked the church’s choir to sing.
Mrs. Vaye during that time of her agony said her beloved husband, Rev. G. Larque Vaye identified with her in every way and manner unlike some men who cannot bear such patience.
On this note, she certificated her husband and gowned him with a new coat suit that he can remember as tokens of gratitude for the major role God used him to play in her life.
Also making a remark while presenting the certificate on behalf of Mrs. Vaye, Mrs. Ruth Whiangar of the church said Rev. Vaye’s role in his wife’s life is not because he is a man of God, but he was prepared by Him for such a role.
Mrs. Whiangar said there are many pastors all over the country and world at large who are cannot show such a concern, but it takes God to have good and caring pastors that include Rev. Vaye and her own husband Rev. Tuagar E. Whiangar.
Meanwhile, appreciating husband in the public is something unusual for many women in Liberia.
Many of them subscribe to the belief that it is the man that seeks the woman for marriage or sexual relationship; therefore, he is responsible to underwrite the cost of living in the home.
Many a time some say, “You are responsible to feed me and provide me with clothes and other basic needs, and failure on your part means I have the right to take you to court.”
But for a relationship to hold and the flame of love keeps burning, it is also incumbent upon the woman to persuade her husband by showing him love, caring for his feeding, and appreciating the little he faithfully does to keep the relationship holding.
But imperative and forceful demand, ingratitude, unfaithfulness, less concern for his feeding, amongst others, highly contribute to breaking of relationship thus causing another woman who meets the necessary criteria to take your place.