Not all but many of the marital problems can be solved or lived with if prayer, patience, a living hope, and looking at the bigger picture are coveted, acquired and maintained in marriage. The Christian religion teaches us that prayer has great power in its effects (James 5:17). Prayer can enable one bear the unbearable and to achieve by far beyond one’s human abilities. It is true that prayer is hard work but those who faithfully engage in it in both good and bad times attest that it works wonders.
Patience is one of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Patience nourishes and sustains a lot of human relationships, especially marriage. There is no successful marriage without amble doses of patience. Some people give up on their marriages too lightly. They only consider the pains and forget to look at the broader picture of all of life and not just today. What about the children caught in the midst of all the fuss? What about the loneliness? Is there any guarantee that any future marriage will be better than the current? Many divorcees in the long run do regret their decisions to divorce. Those who endure in marriage often grow stronger in character and enjoy their marriages best. Prayer, patience, and faith in the living God to make the impossible possible yield great dividends. Let those who suffer much pain in their marriages try their hands at what is suggested above.
Some of the best ways to successful and healthy marriages are striving to make men and women good, capable and productive persons, and to understand and prepare for marriage before entering into it. People have to be helped to become good in life generally. When people are not prepared to face the challenges that life brings they will of course have problems in their marriages. Irresponsible, selfish, cruel (wicked), unfeeling and rude adults will not have the best of marriages because they are a problem onto themselves, their marriages and the wider society. Such people are not ready for facing the demands and challenges of life in general and thus are poor candidates for marriage.
Jesus puts it accurately when he said, “A healthy tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a poor tree bear good fruit. Every tree is known by the fruit it bears; you do not pick figs from thorn bushes or gather grapes from bramble bushes. A good person brings good out of the treasure of good things in his heart; a bad person brings bad out of his treasure bad things. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:4345). In other words, if we want good marriages then we must work hard to produce in our society honest, capable, patriotic, faithful, and loving people.
Besides helping people be good, those who desire to enter the holy estate of marriage must prepare adequately for it. That is, to understand what it entails and what it takes to make it work. A good marriage is the result of planning and hard work. It is obvious to me that good marriages produce good families. Therefore, those who desire to marry must seek divine guidance and proper counseling. Our priests/pastors and those who are charged with the responsibility of counseling candidates for marriage must give counseling a priority by spending sufficient time and laying out very clearly what it takes to make a marriage work and last. Marriage is a ministry by itself and requires fullest attention and not a part-time affair. It is not additional to the pursuance of our careers, businesses and those other things that make us successful. Rather it is the mainstay of whatever the couple does.